2014.09.04

 

 

工作與生活平衡(二)

  每個人都會經歷考驗，都會面臨困難和阻礙，但是那些極度成功的人，和一般人不同之處在於他們能夠好好利用已經發生的事，他們把它看作是機會，學習的經驗，一塊墊腳石。這就是失敗對於適應力與完善人格的作用。

  如何定義完美主義？其定義是：一種充斥在生活中對失敗或失能的恐懼，尤其在我們最在意的部分。失能這個詞不僅是對失敗的恐懼，這就是人性，不論我們是否喜歡。但對失敗的失能性畏懼是，一種在我們面對問題的時候，裹足不前的畏懼。

  對我來說勝敗並不重要，但完美主義確實是我生活的重心，就如我提到過的，音樂對我非常重要，學術對我而言也非常重要，人際關係也非常重要。在這些方面我體會到完美主義，但是在這些方面我必須一直努力，這方面，我詳細說明，這是我們面對人生旅途的時候，也是我們從A點到B點的過程中，採取的一種方式，一種認知與情感的基模。重點在旅途上，一個追求卓越者仍可能是完美主義者，或比完美主義者更有野心。兩者之間的不同，在於他們面對旅途的方式，讓我舉個例子，首先是一個完美主義者。

work life balance-2

  Most people experience crucibles throughout their lives, hardships, difficulties, but difference between the highly successful people, and many other people is that they are able to make the best of what happens. They see it as an opportunity, a learning experience, a stepping stone. The importance of failure for resilience, for well being as well.

  What is actually mean by perfectionism? It’s define as: an incapacitating fear of failure that permeates our lives, especially those areas that we care about most. Note the word incapacitating. It is not just a fear of failure. That’s human- whether we like it or not. But an incapacitating fear of failure is the failure that is debilitating us, that stops us, that prevents us from coping, from trying, from putting ourselves on the line.  

  It’s not that important for me if I win or lose. But perfectionism was central part of my life when it came to – as I mentioned earlier, music which was very meaningful to me, academics which is very meaningful to me, and relationships which was and is a very important part of my life. So in these areas, that’s where I experienced perfectionism, and that’s where I needed to do the work and still doing the work. It’s in those areas. Let me elaborate on this definition. It is approach, a cognitive and emotional schema, that we hold toward the journey of our lives, toward the process of getting from point A to point B. The emphasis here is on journey. A person committed to excellence can still be as ambitions and more ambitious than a perfectionist. The difference between the two is just their approach toward the journey. Let me illustrate. So let’s first take the perfectionist.