2014.12.05
 

 

己所不欲勿施於人

我向別人尋求反饋，尋求批評，開始我要控制自己不去回應，不去頂嘴反駁。為什麼？因為批評是對正向的偏離，偏離那個基模。但我逐漸習慣了，這真的幫到了我，現在我更能夠包容批評。有時，我仍想回答，仍想頂嘴反駁，但整體而言，我藉由改變態度變得更好。我仍然在這，我還活著，屢戰屢敗，屢敗屢戰。

我們不一定要外在的表現出行為，我們也可以在內心中模擬，你的思想是無法分辨現實和想像的區別，因此我可以想像自己，看看自己，就像一個追求卓越的人一樣，大腦需要一致性，冥想也會有所幫助，因為冥想能使我們處於冷靜狀態，能夠接受事物是一種存在而非一種行為，當我們做為一種存在時，我們就能活在當下，我們就能享受過程，而不是總想著目的地，以及如果我達不到這個目標會怎樣。

這是我從書上學來的一個方法，是Samuel Coleridge說的，是英國的哲學家，活躍於18世紀末，19 世紀初，是影響愛默生的哲學家之一，他在寫作時經歷了這樣的瓶頸，寫作是他生命中最重要的一件事，但是他沒有辦法寫好。因為他害怕寫不出最好的文章或詩歌，所以他說：在我生命的結尾，我會寫出我的巨著，在那之前一切都只是草稿，這讓他得到解放，因為他不再焦慮了，他再也不用想著寫巨著。在同時他寫出無數優美的詩篇，有些是英文中最美的文字，以及許多非常強有力的，具有影響、結構精美的文章，而他們都只是「草稿」。這樣就沒有壓力了，它給我很大的幫助。當我想到這個時我說「好吧，看看完美主義，對我影響最深的領域吧，因為這個領域對我很重要，就是教學」。

因此訂一個終極目標可以讓自己解放，這是柏金法則，這黃金法則是：「己所不欲勿施於人」，或者說「己所欲方施於人」，這是方今許多道德體系和宗教信仰的基礎。

 

Do not do unto others what you would not have done unto yourself

 

I was started to solicit feedback from people, started to solicit criticism. Initially, literally I need to catch myself from responding, from attacking back. Why? Because criticism is the deviation from a straight narrow, from that schema. But overtime I got used to it. It actually helped me. And now I’m much open to criticism. Still, sometimes catch myself when I want to respond and attack back. But overall, I got better through behavior changing attitude. I’m still here, I survived. Learn to fail or fail to learn.

We don’t always have to act out in the world, we can also act in our internal simulator the mind doesn’t know the difference between the real thing and the imaginary thing. And therefore, I can imagine myself, see myself, acting as a person committed to excellence, the mind looks for consistency. Meditation in and of itself helps, cause meditation puts us in a state of mind of calm, of acceptance, a state of being, as opposed to state of doing. And when we are in a state of being we are here and now, we are enjoying the process, as opposed to constantly thinking about the destination, and what will happen if I don’t get to that destination.

This is a technique, method that I learn from books, that’s say from Samuel Coleridge the British philosopher, late 18^th century and the beginning of the 19^th century, one of the philosophers who influence our Ralph Waldo Emerson. He experienced this paralysis when he came to writing. Writing was the most important thing in his life. But he really couldn’t write well. Because he was so afraid of not writing the ultimate essay, or the ultimate poem. So here was what he did : he said, “well, at the end of my life, I will write my magnum opus. Until then, everything is rough draft”. And that liberated him. Because he wasn’t worried any more, now he never got to write his magnum opus. But at the meantime, he wrote dozens of beautiful poems, some of them the most beautiful in the English language and numerous very powerful, influential and beautifully crafted essays. And they were all “rough drafts”. So there wasn’t the pressure, this helped me a lot. Because what I do when I thought about this, I said,”OK, So let’s see one of the domains, where perfectionism was very strong for me, because it was an important domain- was teaching.”

So end goal can often be liberating. The Platinum Rule. So the Golden Rule:“do not unto others what you would not have done unto yourself” or “ do unto other what you would unto yourself.” The foundation of most moral systems, most religions today.