2015.03.20

 

說好話 行好事

  我們每個人，都會運用語言。語言是全世界最有影響力的聲音，一句話能夠挑起連天的戰火，也能表達愛慕的情愫。很多人都有這樣的經歷：說了卻沒有人在聽。這是為什麼呢？如何讓話語擲地有聲進而改變世界？最好的方法是：要改掉一些不良習慣。

  一般人講話常犯些錯誤，提出「七個壞習慣」供參考。內容並非盡善盡美，但這七個缺點，可能是我們所有人的弱點。

  首先，「說長道短」，在別人後面指指點點。這是個壞習慣，如果有人在我們面前搬弄別人的是非，那麼五分鐘後他就會在別人面前評論我們。

  第二，評斷。很多人在交談時都很喜歡評判，如果別人在說話時批評你，或認為你能力不足，你就不會願意聽他講話。

  第三，心態消極。你可能陷入這種狀態。心態消極的人，沒有人願意聽他講話。

  第四，抱怨也是一種負面情緒，我們抱怨天氣，抱怨比賽，抱怨政治，抱怨一切。但抱怨是病毒般的災難。因為你沒有把溫暖和光明帶給他人。

 第五，找藉口，我們都碰過這種人。也許我們都曾找藉口開脫，老是有些人找替代，他們推諉塞責，不為自己的言行承擔責任，我們不太會去聽這種人說話。

  第六點是欺騙，「花言巧語，過分誇張」。這可以說是對語言的褻瀆，假如一個說話誇張的人，遇到超讚的事，那麼，他還能用甚麼形容詞呢？其實語言過分誇張就是欺騙，不折不扣的謊言，沒有人喜歡聽騙子的話。

最後是過分武斷，真相與見解混淆不清，這樣講話只會成為別人的耳邊風。

就像有人用自以為是的觀點砲轟你，很難有人想聽她說話。以上就是講話的七個錯誤。

我們應該避免以上的錯誤。

Resource: TED 朱利安崔玖 Julian Treasure

 

 

  The human voice: It’s the instrument we all play. It’s the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It’s the only one that can start a war or say “ I love you.” And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don’t listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world? What I’d like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from.

 I’ve assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I’m not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

  First, gossip, speaking ill of somebody who’s not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping five minute later will be gossiping about us.

  Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation, and it’s very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you’re being judged and found wanting at the same time.

  Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, became very, very, very negative, and it’s hard to listen. I remember one day ,I said to her, “It’s October 1 today,” and she said. “I know, isn’t it dreadful?” It’s hard to listen when somebody’s that negative.

  And another from of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It’s our national sport. We complain about the weather, about sport, about politics, about everything, but actually complaining is viral misery. It’s not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

 Excuses. We’ve all met this guy. Maybe we’ve all been this guy. Some people have a blame thrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don’t take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.

  Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it?

  And then of course this exaggeration becomes lying, out and out lying, and we don’t want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

(2’24”) And Finally, dogmatism, the confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you’re listening into the wind.

You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It’s difficult to listen to that. So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking.

 

Gossip 說三道四

Judging 評斷

Negativity 心態消極

Complaining 抱怨

Excuses 找藉口

Lying 說謊

Dogmatism 武斷

These are things I think we need to avoid.