2014.04.26

 

 

激發潛能 培養自尊

   沒有誰的人生是一帆風順的，以引擎比喻，如果我們用的引擎很小想把車開上一個陡峭崎嶇的山坡，引擎很容易損毀爆炸。如果我們的引擎夠大，要上山就容易得多，不費吹灰之力就能做到。所以我們要培養積極性，增強心裡引擎，幫助孩子培養自身能力，應對困難和艱辛的能力。換句話說，必須投入更多資源幫助學生發覺自己的興趣，幫助學生發現人生的意義，使他們認識自己真正想做好事，幫學生克服誘惑，身邊常出現誘惑會偏離自己的道路，鑿掉束縛，擺脫雜念，幫助學生找到真實個性，了解自己的強項，並在復興實現一切。

   所有能力、技能，我認為不只是在復興，而應擴及全球範圍內，很少學校教會這些技能，所以我們要教學生，常思考「我怎樣才能使世界變得更美好」？充滿熱情、理想化、美好、極其美好！所有學生都渴望能改變世界，雖然很多人都認為這一代人以自我為中心，這一代人只關心賺更多錢、買大一點的房子，更成功取得更高榮譽，變得更有威望。青少年有世界上最好的意願，有最善良的心思，想為世界做貢獻，貢獻出時間和金錢；但時而覺得若有所失，覺得能改變世界的力量越來越弱了。為甚麼？因為美好的意願和理想主義雖然必要，卻是不夠的，遠遠不夠的。因為很多時候，即使有很好的意願，孩子的能力還是有限，在某些情況下，我們帶來的傷害多於幫助。有些研究表明，即使到了今天，仍有想做好事的人卻傷害了他們曾給予的幫助。

   如果我們在學生身上看到偉大的潛能，那麼這潛能就可能被激發。這點很重要，更重要的是要懂得如何讚美。

 

    No life is completely immune to those, in other word, we can use is of an engine. If we have a small engine and we have to pull the car up a steep hill, a difficult hill, the engine is more likely to collapse, to blow up. Whereas if our engine is large, we are much more likely to get up that hill, and to do it gracefully with relative ease. So we cultivate the positive, we are strengthening our, metaphorically speaking, psychological engine. Help student cultivate capacity, the capacity to deal with these difficulties and hardships when they arise and they will arise. In other words, there has to be more resources put in places such as helping students identity their passions when they come here, helping students identity their sense of meaning in life, helping students identity what they really, really, really want to do. Helping students overcome the pull, the external pull that is often there, taking them away from their core, helping them chip away those limitations, those voices, helping students identify who they really are, helping students identify their strengths, and pursing those while here at Fuhsing. All these capabilities.

    All these skills or skills that are mostly and I’m not just talking about Fuhsing, globally- not taught in schools, and we need to teach students. And think “How can I make this world a better place?” Passionate. Idealistic Good-in the deep sense, good. This desire to make a difference come into just about all students. There are many people who talk about this generation as the “ME” generation all care about all this generation care about is “well, let me just make make more money”, ”let me just get a bigger house”, “let me just be more succeed and accrue more honor, more prestige. Teenage had all the good intentions in the world, I have all the good intention in the world. I want to do good. I’ve donated my time, my money. But I feel that something is missing, I feel that I’ve fallen short of my potential to really make a difference. Why? Because good will and idealism, while necessary, they are not sufficient. Not enough. Because very often, with very good intentions, we may fall short of what we are capable of doing or in some situation, even hurt more than help. And we’ll Look at some of these studies hopefully still today with very good intentions actually hurt more they helped.

    If we see the seed of greatness in the students that seed of greatness is more likely to flourish. And again, that’s important. But it’s also important to know how to praise. 

 

 

 

2014.04.23

 

培養能力而非一味改正錯誤

  不要再問：為什麼這麼多人失敗？而是問那些成功的人是如何邁向成功？即使成長環境惡劣，為什麼有些人成功？是的，這是困難、艱辛、不公平的路徑，但那是你的責任，沒有人會幫助你。能否改變自己的人生由自己決定。

  我們如何培養學生，激發他們的潛能？看到學生的潛能、優點和品格。潛能、優點、品德和能力。如果我們看不到學生的潛能，不去栽培他，他就會枯萎而死，人類潛能因此而磨滅。那麼我們應如何讓人們從智力上、情感上、心理上、人際關係上、人格上全面發展？而不只是幫他們擺脫生活中不如意的事。

  我們如何在自身和學生身上栽培偉大的種子？如何在社區和團體中栽培偉大的種子？如何在學校、國家和世界中呢？為了達到這目的，我們須用心經營情感因素。當有人問你這個問題：我們應專注於缺點或專注於優點？大多數人認為要成功，要注重缺點比優點重要，這是大錯特錯，能夠注重自己優點的人，發揚長處的人，不但能更開心，也更能成功。

  指導學生：我人生中甚麼是有意義的？我的目的是甚麼？我為什麼在這裡？畢業後我真正想做甚麼？甚麼是最有利的選擇？甚麼是理想狀態？有玻璃天花板嗎？還是可以尋找更多的刺激、享受、熱情？事實上，在成功方面最大的進展，基本上來自一個觀點，那就是「注重能力的培養而非改正錯誤」，換句話說是健康的心境培養：培養能力、增強長處、改善人際關係、找到人生的意義和熱情。

  No longer, ”why do so many individuals fail?” but started to ask ”what do some individuals do and succeed? Why do some individuals succeed? Despite the unfavorable circumstances? Yes it’s difficult. It’s tough. It’s unfair path. However, it’s your responsibility. No one is coming. It’s up to you to make that difference in your life.

   How can we cultivate the seed of greatness in our student? Saw the strength, the virtues in each single student. A seed, a strength, a virtue, a competence. And when we don’t see the seed of greatness, when we don’t water it and shed a light on it, it withers and dies, which is unfortunately the fate of most human potential. Therefor, how do we get people to flourish intellectually, emotionally, psychologically, interpersonally, intra-personally? How do we get them to thrive beyond just getting rid of what is not working in their lives?

   How can we cultivate the seed of greatness in ourselves and students, in our communities and organizations, in our school, in our nation and in our world? In order to do that, we need to cultivate these traits. Do we focus on weakness, or do we focus on strength? While you ask people this question most people think that it’s more important to focus on their weakness if they are to succeed. Big mistake, the people who focus primarily, not only, remember who focus more on their strength, are not only happier, they are also on the long run, more successful.

   Leading students: What is meaningful to me in my life? What’s my purpose? Why am I here, what do I really, really want to do once I graduate? What is the optimum? What is the ideal? Is there a glass ceiling? Or can it go on and on, more excitement, more enjoyment, more passion? In dead the major strides in success have largely come from a perspective focused on systematically building competency, not correcting weakness. In other words, the health model cultivate: Let’s work on competencies. Let’s work on strength. Let’s work on relationship. Let’s help student identify something meaningful in their life, their passion.

 

2014.04.18

 

 

2014.04.18

沒人會來-你得自我負責

 

  在開學的第一天，我對學生說我們要練習自信，我不斷重複這信息，整學期不斷重複，堅持再堅持，我相信你，你能做好，你能成功承擔生活的責任，要停止抱怨，停止抱怨政府，停止抱怨老師，停止報怨父母，成功與否全在你自己。我對學生充滿期待，把眼光放在學生長處和優點加以培養，奇蹟開始發生了，那些被老師認為不可教的學生改變了，奇蹟繼續發生，學生被老師的熱情所驅動，他們繼續學習，奇蹟繼續發生…孩子積極學習。

  有一個Marva Collins法則，稱為積極學習法則，積極學習法則的重點如下：我想做得很好，我想我很聰明，我想我很特別，我會教每個孩子這樣想，當他們不守規矩的候，被懲罰的學生就是要寫許多原因說明他們棒到要做那樣的事，而且要按照字母順序寫，我很可愛，我很漂亮，我很勇敢，我給他們例子直到他們明白，我令人快樂，我很興奮，我很厲害，我很棒，我是榜樣，我無與倫比…

一直寫到最後一個字母，如果孩子再犯，他們必須要用另一個同義詞，他們不能再用可愛了，他非常棒，他傳遞的訊息，首先他本身就榜樣，和孩子學習榜樣，他們認清誰是榜樣。老師有很高的期望，師生要大量練習自信，要表現優秀與成功。老師有很多期望，期待能看到潛力也欣賞每個人的潛力，停止抱怨別人，坦承自己生活責任。

老師不是軟弱的人，教室裡要求很嚴格，同時也尊重每個學生，老師相信尊重而且要求嚴格，主要目標就是和善和受歡迎，完成事情與工作的關鍵，同時也尊重他人，有樂觀精神的人，可以把事做好，而且可以做得很好。從專注缺點到專注優點。

  一個學生是否聰明，我們要看這個學生有甚麼優點，認清學生的優點與長處，之後，便欣賞他。當我們欣賞他的時候，優點和人都會被增值。假如有一粒種子，是有潛力的，他會長成花草樹木，假如這粒種子，沒有受到灌溉，沒有陽光照耀會怎樣？他會枯萎死去，人類潛能也是這樣。如果我們不灌溉照耀他，他會死去。人際關係也是這樣，如果你不欣賞它的好處，他就會貶值。

你能做甚麼？你能貢獻甚麼？在學校裡，當思「你能為學校帶來甚麼優勢？」自我負責是很重要的，能自我負責的人會承擔責任，為生活承擔責任就是理解「沒人會來」，沒有人會讓你的生活更美好，每個人得為自己的生活負責，才能獲得自信自尊和幸福，能否在經驗中獲得全在你自己。

 

 

On the first day of school, I say to my students,” We are going to do a lot of believing in ourselves”. And I repeat this message over and over and over again, like a broken record throughout the semester and the year and years. I believe in you. You can do well. You can succeed. Take responsibility for your life. Stop blaming. Stop blaming to government. Stop your teacher. Stop blaming your parents. It is up to you to succeed. Having really high expectation of my students, looking at what student are good at, their strength and cultivating those, miracles begin to happen, these students considered by many of the teachers to be “unteachable”. And the miracles continue, and yet the students are driven by their passion. And they continue. Miracles continue to happen to them, children continue learning.

Positive Learning:

Have a law call “Marva Collins positive learning”:

I think I did pretty wonderful.

I think I’m bright.

I think I am unique.

And I’ll teach every child of me to think that. When they misbehave , their punishment is they have to write many reasons. Why they are too wonderful  to do what they are doing. And they have to be alpha order. I am adorable. I am beautiful. I am courageous. I give them the first ones until they get the hang out of it. I am delightful. I am effervescent. I am fabulous. I am heavenly. I am idolized. I am just wonderful. I am a kindred spirit. I am lovable. I am never, never under line. And it goes on to Z. And if they do it again, then they have to use another synonym. They can’t use adorable any more. Now she is wonderful. So what’s her message? First of all, I myself is the message as a role model. Children all identify role models. First and foremost, I myself is the model. I have high expectations, We are going to do a lot of believing in ourselves. We are going to do well, succeed. I expect a lot. I see the potential. I appreciate that potential in each individual. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for your life.

Teachers are no push-over. If you see her in the classroom, she is tough. She is demanding. At the same time, she respects each individual. I am not one of the Pollyannish feel-good. Let’s make them all feel good at all cost. Not at all. I believe in children. I respect children. And I am tough and demanding. Whose primary aim was to be nice and to be liked, the keys to get the job done to get the work done, while being respectful. Sense of optimism. You can do well, you are going to do well. And finally , from focusing on deficiencies to focusing on strength.

Whether or not a student is smart, what we need to ask is what is the student smart at. And when we identify what that student is smart at, strong at, virtuous at, good at , then we appreciate it. And when we appreciate it, it and the whole person appreciate. What would happen to a seed*seed is potential flower, tree, what would happen to a seed, if it is not watered, if no light is shed on it. It will wither and die. The exact same thing with human potential. If we don’t water it , if we don’t shed a light on it, it will wither and die.

What can you do ?what can you bring? What strength can you bring into the school. So that it’s an excellent school. Taking responsibility for it. Self-responsibility is very important. People who have high self-esteem take responsibility, people who want to cultivate high self-esteem and create confidence, take responsibility for their lives and so on. Take responsibility for your life is recognizing understanding that no one is coming. No one is coming to make your life better for you. No one is coming. You are responsible for your life, for your self-confidence, for your self-esteem, for your happiness. No one is coming. No one is coming. It’s up to you to make the most of this experience.

 

 

 

 

 

2014.04.14

 

 

幸福何處尋

如果你非常開心，你還可以更開心。

如果你非常不開心，你也可以更開心。

If you are extremely happy, you can still be happier.

If you are very unhappy, you can still be happier.

 

現在憂鬱症的年齡平均小於15歲，因為孩子很小時後就接觸了「資訊高速公路」，通常而言，他們都還沒準備好，無法有效地應用它。

人通常都做自己相信的事，問題是如何專注於做有效的東西？我想：我們幫助他人，也是幫助自己；我們幫助自己，也是幫助他人。眼光集中在自己的長處而不是缺點，這就是樂觀，樂觀不是不切實際的盲目樂觀，而是樂觀地相信事情會被圓滿解決。「好吧！也許這次不會成功，以後會成功的。」

我真正擅長的是甚麼？認清自己的長處，「設定目標，面向未來」，每個人都有一個榜樣，告訴自己，我想像他那樣。榜樣可以是老師，可以是親戚或朋友，有時候他是一個歷史人物或小說人物，一個可以仿效的人。榜樣給我們力量、方向感。

問題導致改變 問題締造現實

最重要的是樂觀的人不孤單。他們有社會支持，不會說：「我能自己做」，他們說：「我可以請求幫助，因為那確實需要某種能力。」他們有承認弱點的勇氣，承認某種需要的勇氣。想想：問題製造現實，創造可能性。一個問題引起一場探索，問題才是突破點。答案來之不易，但重要的是新問題，有益健康的問題，是一個極為新穎的問題。

The mean age for depression today is less than 15, because kids at very young age are introduced to the ”information highway.” And very often, they are not prepared, not able to deal with it in an effective way.

People were doing something that we really believe in. Now the question is “how do we focus on what works? When we help others, we are helping ourselves, when we help ourselves, we help others, I think so. Focus on their strength rather than primarily deficiencies. These were optimistic, not optimistic in the detached Pollyannish sense, optimistic in that they believe in things that would work out well. “Well. It may not work well this time. It will work out later.”

What am I good at? What am I really, really good at? I will identify my strength. “Our set goals for ourselves. Our were future-oriented.”Everyone have a role model. Someone who they said about” I want to be like her; I want to be like him.”It could be a teacher. It could be a parent, sibling, friend. Sometimes, it was a historical figure or a fictional character. Someone that they want to emulate, to be like. That gave our strength. That gave our sense of direction.

Questions make a difference; Question create reality

And finally most significantly, optimist did not bowl alone. They had social support. They did not say: “Well I am tough enough to do it by myself.”Rather they said:”I’m tough enough to reach out for help”. Because that does require certain toughness. They have strength to admit weakness as well, the strength to admit a need. Now think about these: Questions create reality. They create possibilities. A question begins a question. The question is the breakthrough. The answer comes with difficulty but it is the new question that is important. The salutariness question is a radically new question.