2014.11.11

 

 

 

 

 

學習成長沒有捷徑

 

  你知道心理學家在做甚麼嗎？心理學家觀察人，我常常在觀察，非常仔細的觀察，我看到了甚麼？這需要極高的洞察力、經驗及智慧，你知道我每次看到甚麼嗎？我看到所有的人走路非常優雅，了不起。好棒，你們值得表揚。但是問題來了，如果沒有成千萬次的摔倒，你們能走到這裡，能走得如此優雅嗎？這是不可能的，學會失敗，從失敗中學習。

  我們小時候都知道，我們摔倒了，我們可能會哭，但是馬上又站起來。摔倒了，還會笑。學習的喜悅，這種喜悅上哪兒去了？去哪兒了？他消失了，因為我們到了一定年紀開始意識到別人在看我們，開始產生種種想法。「我不要試，萬一摔倒怎麼辦？」呃，不、不，我不要演這齣戲，萬一沒人看懂怎麼辦？呃，我不要分享經驗，萬一有人不喜歡怎麼辦？或者大家都這麼聰明，那我就不獻醜了。我們開始逃避而不是應對，這會影響我們自尊、信心、樂觀精神，長期的快樂指數。學會失敗，從失敗中學習。

  不是放棄志向或者努力工作，也不是消除失敗時的痛苦，這是不可能的。而是獲得一種更理性、更有益、更可控制的處理失敗的方法。上台需要一定的勇氣，有勇氣並不代表不害怕，而是害怕但仍然勇往直前。

  當老師有一件事是我不喜歡做的。我是老師，我喜歡教書，但有一件事是我不喜歡做的，就是打分數，我討厭打分數。但做為老師不得不做，你必須打分數。我有一個重要的問題，如果沒有成千上萬個失敗的圓，你能畫出一個真正的圓嗎？當然不能，成功沒有捷徑。學會失敗，從失敗中學習，這是唯一的途徑。

  但記得是如何學習的，別無他法，成長沒有捷徑，學習也沒有捷徑，樂觀、快樂、成功更沒有捷徑。

 

No other way to grow  

No other way to learn

  You know what a psychologist do? Psychologists watch people. And I watch you every time, And I watch very closely. What I see? This takes a lot of insight, experience, wisdom, but you know what I see every time when you come in? That you all are very good walkers. Terrific. Well done! Yes! You deserve it! Absolutely! But here is the question: could you have gotten to this stage, to being such good walkers without having fallen hundreds and thousands of times? It’s not possible. Learn to fail or fail to learn.

  And as kids, we know it. We fall down and maybe we cry a little bit if it hurts, but we get up again. We fall down. And we laugh. The joy of learning. Where is it? Where is it? Where does it go? Well it goes away because we come to a certain age when we begin to understand other people are watching us, and then the image kicks in.” I’m not going to try, because what if I fall?” Oh, no no no. I’m not going to try for this play, because hardly anyone gets that. Oh, I’m not going to share, because what if they don’t like what I have to say. Or “everyone is so smart. I’m not going to speak up.” And we avoid instead of coping. And that affects our self esteem, our confidence, our resilience, our happiness levels in the long term. Learn to fail or fail to learn.

  Not giving up ambition, not giving up hard work, not giving up pain of failure- because that’s inevitable. But simple have a more rational, a more helpful, a more empowering approach toward failure. Remember it takes courage to come up to the stage, but courage is not about not having fear; it’s about having fear and going ahead anyway.

    The one thing that I really don’t like doing teaching. I love to teach, but the one thing that I really don’t like doing- is grading ,I hate grading. But you know, as a teacher, you have to do it, you have to do it. I have an important question for person, could you have gotten to drawing a real circle without having drawn hundreds and thousands of failed circles? Absolutely. There is no other way to succeed. Learn to fail or fail to learn- there’s no other way.

  But remember, remember how we learn. There is no other way, no other way to grow. No other way to learn. No other way to become more resilient, happier, more successful.