2014.11.20

 

 

 

 

享受過程

我將繼續前進，更進一步了解，享受過程。因此，第一步要能認知，在我們獲得認知之後，探討工作回報觀念，記住我們能在短短幾十小時內，就改變學生和成人思維模式，這些思維模式在他們很小的時候就已經奠定了，思維模式是固定或可塑的，我們的大腦是時刻在變化的，藉由教他們關注過程，關注所付出的努力，而不是結果獲最後的成就，而改變他們的思維模式。

我們自己也可以關注我們付出的努力，關注過程本身，不論他是失敗或成功。主動地去接受，他將永遠是我們的一部份，完美主義者經常會做的一件事，當他們意識到自己是完美主義者時，這讓他們很難過：他們就用完美主義的方式來克服完美主義，也就是說，我會成為一個追求完美與卓越的人，這不會起作用，只是更進一步追求完美主義。但主動地接受意味著，好吧，我仍然是個完美主義者，我可能永遠都會有這方面的性格，但這沒關係。

佛教徒常說的一句話是，通常的情況下，我們稱之為神經官能症，不管是完美主義，對失敗的恐懼，還是經常出現憤怒焦慮，不管我們的問題是甚麼，佛教徒很巧妙地重新定義他，我們要將其視為一種工具，一種成長的工具，一種了解自己的方式，使我們深入挖掘自己，然後得以成長。如此看待，這是成長的機會，了解自我，自我反省的機會，能夠設身處地為別人著想的機會，不論他是甚麼，將其視為一種工具。接受他，然後行動。

下一步，接受他之後就去改變它。我們藉由行為來改變他，這關鍵在於行為。

 

Enjoy the process

I can move forward and enjoy the process, it’s a better understanding. So the first step is awareness. After we have awareness, it’s about going back to notion of rewarding effort. Remember, we were able to change students and adult’s mind set with as little as a few hours. And sometimes, this mind set has been set in them from a very young age. The fixed versus the malleable mind set, our brain constantly changes by teaching them that to focus on the journey, on the effort, as opposed to the outcomes, as opposed the intelligence, was able to change their mind set.

So in ourselves we can focus on a reward on our effort, on our process, whether it’s failure or success. Active acceptance. It will always be part of us. You know one of the things that perfectionists very often do when they realize they are perfectionists and that is hurting them: they apply the perfectionist approach to overcoming perfectionism, which means, I will become perfect person who is committed to excellence. That doesn’t work. That’s just more perfectionism. But what active acceptance is about saying. Ok, So I’m not…So I’m still perfectionist. I will always probably have part of it in me. And that’s OK.

One of the things that Buddhists talk about is that very often, our greatest challenges, what we would call “our neurosis.” Whether it’s perfectionism, the fear of failure whether it’s anger that comes up once in a while, anxiety, whatever it is that we have- that “issue”. The Buddhists cognitively reframe it and say, “ we need to look at it as a tool, as a tool for growth, as a way of learning about ourselves, digging deep inside ourselves and growing.” So to look at it- OK, so this is an opportunity for growth, for personal learning, for reflection, for more empathy toward other people- whatever it is. But to look at it as a tool. Accept it. And then act.

The next thing, after we accept it, we go ahead and change it. And we go ahead and change it by introducing behavior. The key issue here is behavior.