智者不惑

  昨天寶珠說她去聽一場孔子思想的演講，提到：仁者不憂、智者不惑、勇者不懼。不憂、不惑、不懼，何等境界？也是一輩子的修為。今日閱讀How to Win Friends  Influence People一書〈P142-143〉，內心深自震撼，如何化解仇恨？爭論無濟於事，而是必須由智慧、策略和諒解與調解，以愛來化解，何等崇高，又如此困難？

Buddha said: Hatred never ended by hatred but by love, and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint.
佛陀說：除了愛，仇恨永遠無法結束，爭論無法化解誤會，而是由機智，策略，調解和同情中看到別人的觀點。
No man who is resolved to make the most of himself, can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take the consequences, including the vitiation of his temper and loss self- control.
沒有人可以決定讓自己最好，必須騰出時間為個人論點努力。不能得到結果，止是有損情緒和自我控制。



Distrust your first instinctive impression.
Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best.
不要信任你的第一個本能的印象。
我們的第一個自然反應，令人不愉快的就是防衛機制。當你情況不好時，要小心，保持冷靜，留意你的第一反應。


控制自己的情緒，切記，要衡量對方憤怒的程度，同時給對方發言的機會，不要反抗、防衛或辯論，如此只會增加困難，嘗試建立理解的橋梁，不要升高誤解的壁壘。Try to build bridges of understanding. Don't build higher barriers of misunderstanding.


引以為記、引以為戒，努力以赴。